Back to reality

We returned home Saturday night from California. It felt odd to abandon my life for an entire week. Thank goodness my parents are totally comfortable with stepping in and running our household. They are amazing! I think after 9 days of being mom, dad, nana, and papa they have concluded that being grandparents is their favorite role. ;)

Of course our children prefer Nana and Papa being in charge. According to the kids Nana cooks a "king's feast" EVERY single night for dinner.

Our time in California was very difficult - yet so precious. My husband was able to be with his sister for about 36 hours before she passed away. She did realize that her parents and all 5 of her siblings were at the hospital. They were all with her as she left her life on earth. While I cannot imagine how tough that must have been, I'm sure it is a time Mark will always cherish.

We were able to go to church with Paula's husband Bob and their sons Justin and Jordan. It brings immense peace to see they are plugged in to an awesome church. Knowing that Paula was a Christian provides comfort to us.

We spent a great deal of time with our nephews. They are two awesome boys who have a tough future ahead of them. I still can't imagine losing a parent as a child.

The time in California provided opportunity to grieve, reflect, cry, laugh, talk about memories, and make some new memories. We attended school/sport events, hung out at their house, met many of Paula's friends, and even spent a day at Yosemite National Park. The Midwestern family members oohed and aahed at the beauty of the mountains and landscape. The California boys went bonkers in the snow up in the mountains.

It quickly became evident why Paula loved her life in California. They are surrounded by wonderful friends.

Ok, I know this sounds so trite but I'll give it a whirl. If I have learned anything through this experience it is to never take my loved ones for granted. When Paula entered the hospital on Thursday, January 22 she obviously had no idea she would never set foot in her home again. She had no idea she would never volunteer at her sons' school again. She had no clue that her life as she knew it was over. When she learned on Friday, January 23 that she had stage IV cancer we all thought the worst news was that she would face a tough fight to beat the cancer. When she went back into surgery on Sunday evening no one had any idea that she would never recover. We had no indication that her body would simply shut down from the advanced cancer and be ravaged by infection.

Paula spent Monday through Friday drifting in and out of awareness while her body fought to live. She spoke some interesting words as she slipped in and out. Mark's sisters kept a journal during those days and recorded some of Paula's words. One day she mumbled thoughts about going on a trip. At one point she said "I don't want to leave tomorrow - maybe I'll leave the next day". The "next day" was the day she died. At another time she said "I don't think I like the last stop". She passed away peacefully and surrounded by her family.

While we may never understand the reasons for this loss, it simply isn't necessary to ask why. Paula is at peace in heaven. Her family and friends now must learn to do life without her here on earth. No small task.

Please continue to remember Bob, Justin, and Jordan in your daily prayers. They have a whole new life to adjust to. I have included a few pictures so you can have a visual of who you are praying for.

Thank you for keeping our family in your thoughts and prayers. They have definitely been felt and truly made our time in California a trip to cherish. I don't think I have ever felt quite so sad but so peaceful at the same time.

Be grateful for every second you spend with those you love.

Bob, Paula, Justin, and Jordan at The Grand Canyon


Bob, Jordan, and Justin


Amanda (our niece), Jordan, Justin, and Mark at Yosemite


Jordan and Mark


Justin, Mark, me, and Jordan with El Capitan in the background