Working through more fears...

On Wednesday I wrote that one of my greatest fears is one of my children facing a grave illness. I wasn't brave enough to put my other greatest fear in writing. The other is that something will happen which would prevent me from living to see my children raised. I am selfish. I love my kids and I want to be around for their lives. It rattles me when I hear of a parent losing their life while in the midst of raising children.

I'll warn you - this post is raw emotion. In fact, I'll probably want to delete it in a few days.

I also wrote on Wednesday that life changes in an instant.

We received a call yesterday that one of Mark's sisters, the one who is just one year older than him, is sick. We didn't know much more than she was supposed to have surgery today for a blockage in her colon that was thought to be a tumor. We then got a call that they were taking her in for immediate surgery last night. She lives in Fresno, California and she and her husband have two young sons in elementary school.

This morning we learned that she has stage IV cancer in her colon, liver, and lungs. We don't know any more than that. The doctors are to discuss treatment options today and mentioned "treatment vs. quality of life". We are heartbroken.

On Wednesday I wrote about facing a child's illness while not even being brave enough to mention facing a parent's illness. This morning my sister-in-law is waking up to a whole new reality.

My sweet husband had to go into a meeting this morning after calling me with the news. At least I get to sit at home, tell my children I am going to the bathroom, lock the door and sob.

I realize we are not promised tomorrow...or even the rest of this day. But in Fresno, California there are two little boys who I adamantly believe will be better off if they have their Mommy to raise them.

Please pray for my sister-in-law and her family.